My mid-life dilemna (it's hardly a crisis)

While I've often not considered myself to be a woman of many talents, I'm slowly evolving as an artisan of sweets, and a woman of varying skills, without mastery. Yes, I can boil water, I love to bake, and I can lift more weights than the average person. I can also advise students on cultural adjustment and other life issues, dance until my ass falls off, and take a shotgun "hit" to the abdomen.

Given my random list of skills and interests, I've lately found myself asking "what's my calling?" Could I make a living as a bakery owner? A stunt woman? A consultant of some sort (although what the hell would I teach people)? Who knows. I need some advice. I am currently in about as stable and secure a location as anyone could ask for. While Wisconsin has illustrated the troubling and challenging world of elementary/secondary education, I find myself taking asylum in higher education, which for now is financially secure (at least the institution I work for). Nonetheless, I'm not so sure this is enough.

In many ways and for many reasons, I enjoy what I do. In other ways, I feel like I need more, but what exactly is MORE? How much risk am I willing to take? How do I get there? Where's the finish line? What's my ultimate goal? What are my limitations? Well, if I could answer those questions, I would not be writing this post. :-) Life could certainly be worse...I have a wonderful family, I'm gainfully employed, and I'm taking control of my physical and emotional health. However, I do not want the years to go by and suddenly discover that I missed a major opportunity to try something different. I do not want to live with regrets.

In the past few years (since my mom died), I've often heard my dad talk about how he is trying to find his "purpose." On many occasions, I've thought he was being short-sighted, but I was missing the big picture. We all have a purpose. We all should strive to give meaning to our lives, but that is easier said than done. I have regularly sought advice and guidance from loved ones, but that does not define who I am, nor does it evoke my passions. In this particular instance, I am left to my own devices. I'm in the abyss of life, trying to find my center. I visualize myself in Pan's Labriynth, minus the creepiness factor. I'm hopelessly optimistic about where this road will take me; however, there is also reality.

I guess I need to find my chi...