The cultural nuances of maintaining the status quo

When moving abroad, one needs to relinquish themselves from assuming and expecting every place to be like the great US of A. That means (possibly) sacrificing some of the simplest of civil rights and privileges we take for granted--freedom of speech, style of dress, and the much beloved PORK.

From what I've observed thus far, it is rather easy to live here. The lifestyle is relaxed, the service is impeccable, and the people are generally friendly. In sunmary, if you are a moral, rule-abiding citizen of the world who values not dressing like an old whore, you'd fit in swimmingly.

Back to my original point...the rest of the world is not like the U.S. However, that did not completely prevent me from seeking out certain sundries I was not prepared to part with when I left the States. Bacon. Delicious pork bacon, or pork chops, tenderloin...eh, you get the picture. Of course, the locals do not eat pork products, but they are accommodating to those of us from outside the region.  It is such an oddity that my husband had to sign a waiver AFTER his meal (in an italian restaurant), where they were serving proscuitto. We didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The most amusing part is going to the grocery store to shop for Pork products (see above). I equate it to slinking to the back of a video store, behind a black curtain, to buy or peruse the adult video section. Scandalous.

The Pork Shop...what will you find? Mounds and mounds of glorious bacon from around the world--the States, the UK, Chile, Australia, you name it. You'll also find such other tasty morsels like pancetta, tenderloin, chops, and deli ham. For the real connoisseur, you'll find Pop Tarts, Fruit snacks, and soft drinks. WHAT?!?! Yeah, apparently, the gelatin found in a number of food products contains pork...who knew?

Now that that's settled, I am on the hunt for Apple Jacks. Until the next time, wish me luck!

IKEA madness

Sweet merciful crap, I had forgotten how overwhelming the IKEA experience can be. So much so, if you look closely, you'll see my 3 yr. old child crammed into a shopping cart (or trolley as it is called in the UAE) sound asleep. In some ways, that made for an easier shopping experience (minus the fact that she slept all day and was awake all night). It was comical the looks we got from people, as if we had drugged our child, dumped her in the cart, and deprived her of all human decency. Come on people, you've never had your kid fall asleep at an odd time? Lol. Good times.

Anyway, back to the new home building experience. For those of you who know and have visited us, you are aware that we've become accustomed to living in rather small spaces...small kitchen, small bedrooms, bathrooms, etc. Evidently, the bigger and better mantra of the UAE exists within the confines of our flat, as well. We are tackling a 3 bdr, 3.5 bath unit with maid quarters (more about this in a later post). We are certainly not complaining, but it just adds to the overall time requirements for furniture shopping.

It was fun initially. 6 days later, and what feels like a million mall visits later, we have reached our limit. Yes, we still have a few odds and ends to get, but over time, our home collection will be complete. In the meantime, we are officially open for business and are ready for visitors whenever time and opportunity allows it. Cheers!

The Honeymooners

So we did it. We took the plunge. After months of talking, planning and packing for it, we finally made it to the land of sun and sand. We left the snow belt of CNY, our nest in Princeton, and our family and loved ones. While the separation will not be easy, we are thrilled to begin our next chapter abroad.

Our trip started with flight delays, which could have cost us a couple of days instead of a few hours. Fortunately, everything went smoothly, and we arrived as scheduled. The little one was a trooper...as we carried loads and loads of luggage and carry-ons, her little legs were working overtime, as she followed along with Rudy the T-Rex, Pipkin (from Happy Feet), and her beloved animal blanket (thank you Lea). She even managed to do this at JFK, which was no easy task. She struggled a bit to get comfortable on the flight, but overall, she slept well. As for the husband, he spent most of the flight catching up and watching movies I refused to watch with him, or I could just care less about. I watched some really bad chick flick I can't remember the name of, slept a little, then watched an endless stream of Bollywood videos. Thank you for that little gem, Emirates.

We sailed through passport control, and arrived at the hotel. It was about 10:30pm and we decided to take our first venture out into the city. That's the glory of living in a city--you can actually go places after 9pm!! We took a quick trip to the Mall of Emirates, since it is open until midnight on Friday and Saturday. This is no ordinary mall...this is the place where you can (snow) ski, and buy every bit of couture your wallet can handle. For those of you from Jersey, it makes Short Hills look like the bargain outlets down Business Route 1. Needless to say, I don't think my family will do much shopping there unless we happen upon millions of dollars. However, given its size, I imagine that we will do quite a bit wandering there so the little one can burn some energy since we walked for over an hour and saw virtually nothing.

After getting a few hours of sleep, we headed to the Dubai Mall. Yes, they love their malls and it is clear that these places are the cornerstone of life in the UAE. After all, we will spend about 4 months of the year feeling like we are bursting into flames, so having our choice of oversized, air-conditioned mega-malls is fine with me.  The Dubai Mall is home to the Dubai Aquarium, Kidzania, the Underwater Zoo, and the neighbor of the Burj Khalifa (queue Mission Impossible theme song) and the Dancing Fountain. On the storefront, it is sort of the cleaner, bigger equivalent of Quakerbridge Mall. Translation: the shopping is more affordable and I don't have the sensation of my wallet burning a hole in my pocket or chest pains due to sticker shock.

Last but not least, it is Shopping Festival time. So, not only are things tax free, they are cheaper than usual. This should make for a much more enjoyable home goods shopping experience.

They say there are multiple stages of culture shock--the honeymoon phase then forming, storming, norming. Right now I'd say we are honeymooners and enjoying every bit of this adventure.

While there are still many things to explore, tasks to complete, and jobs to do, we are quickly feeling at home. Stay tuned for more from the UAE!

Binge and purge

Don't worry, it's not what you're thinking (have you seen me)? Lol, this applies figuratively to my (and my husband's) stress-ridden pursuits to rid ourselves of the piles of stuff we've managed to collect over the years. The big stuff was not a problem. In fact, my husband has made the move into an ongoing wholesale/yard sale. It was like watching the Crazy Eddie commercials that were so popular when we were young. EVERYTHING MUST GO!! Thankfully we discovered that we have limited sentimental attachments to stuff. Rather, we have more emotional connections and attachments to moments we've captured over the years.

It's amazing to think that we have moved nine times since we got married. We've had friends come and go, jobs come and go, and more and more stuff come and go. So, what do we have left? As of right now, we have four suitcases, various (packable) Christmas presents, and a few shippable boxes. 

This past year has been no exception. We have much more to learn and experience and cannot wait to see what life continues to have in store for us. 2011 was great, but 2012 is going to be even better!

Ok, now I'm rambling for the sake of rambling. Good nite all!

The little Tigers

I do not appear to be an emotional person. In fact, I'm often not, but sometimes it is appropriate for me to exhibit certain feelings. The past 7.5 years have been some of the most amazing and most difficult years of my life. Most notably, I became a parent. I returned to my once homeland. I lost my beloved mother. I also became, for the first time in my professional life, an honorary member of a university community. My sincere thanks, love and appreciation to my first "class"--the fabulous Class of 2008 (you know who you are).

I have not always respected or spoken highly about what happens behind the Ivy gates-the traditions, the pretentiousness, the classical approach to tackling modern issues, the hierarchy/bureaucracy, and the gym :-). All whining aside, there are many things I will miss greatly as I exit the Ivy gates. My parting is such sweet sorrow.

While the last 7.5 years have been full of extreme highs and lows, one thing has remained refreshingly constant...the strong bonds I've formed with many of the amazing students I've worked with. Some have been entitled pains in the ass, while others have been uninterested or distant. Alas, many have been engaging, warm, and a pleasure to be around. They've challenged and greatly enhanced my understanding of the world, and they've even strengthened my understanding of myself as a professional, a person, a parent, and a friend. They are likely unaware of the impact they've had on my life, as they've probably been too consumed with other, more important things. Nonetheless, from the many lunchtime conversations, the long orientation hours, the late night meetings/programs, the Baldwin dinner club, and the "drop-in" visits, it has been quite the journey for which I am very grateful.

Over the course of the last few weeks, I've been reflecting upon my current experiences. I sometimes worry about being forgotten. I worry that the fruits of my labor will be spoiled. I worry about taking the next steps. I worry about failure. This is not the burden of the alumni, and students I've greatly come to respect, adore, and in some ways, love. They've made my "job" worthwhile. All work and no play makes me a dull girl, and I've been very fortunate to maintain a happy marriage of the two.

I feel renewed. Refreshed. Ready to take the next step. Super excited.

Thank you LITTLE TIGERS of my PAST, PRESENT, and FUTURE. Thank you for being a crucial part of my journey. You will certainly not be forgotten.

A woman of the world

Sure, as if being a multiracial, transracial adoptee isn't interesting enough, I've decided to try my luck at living outside of the U.S. for the first time since my arrival from Korea many years ago. To be specific, I am relocating to the Middle East come January 2012. You know, the place that the average American has little understanding of and less than positive views. It's kind of like the American perspective on Africa as one country, and not a continent of over 50 countries. Ouch.

Nonetheless, I have a different view...one of hope, of opportunity, of exposure, of purpose. The fact that this is the professional opportunity of a lifetime is small potatoes by comparison. I will gain greater cultural perspective about a part of the world that is (in many ways) shunned by the rest of the world. I will live in one of the most diverse cities in the world. My child will become a greater global citizen. My husband will have the freedom to pursue his personal and professional interests...need I say more? Yes, I am a bit anxious about leaving all we know behind, to pursue our dream. We are creating a great distance from our loved ones, and friends, but not at a loss. We are creating a gateway to many other parts of the world for major gains personally, professionally, socially, intellectually, and emotionally.

I am hoping that this will refuel my interest in posting to my blog. I've been seeking ways to breathe new life into it and this may be just the transition I need. So, for now, less writing and more packing!

Oh, and one more thing...we'd love to have visitors!!! :-)

A year has come and gone and yet, remains...

This time last year I was indulging in Korean cuisine, broadening my professional horizons, and feeding my international interests. More importantly, I was testing my emotional limitations and trying to bring some sense of closure to my life. Did I succeed?

While the reflection period is ever-constant, I tend to have "moments" when I dissect pieces of my life, to give them meaning and purpose. The most recent "moments" were during my travels to Vancouver for a professional conference. I was reunited with friends, professional colleagues, and about 8,000 other people from around the world. Included in that 8,000 were people I met in Korea during my professional visits, and social gatherings. To my dismay, most of the people I spoke with did not remember me. How could that be? How often do native Koreans see Amazon-like, racially ambiguous people like me? Were they being disingenuous? Did our time together have that little meaning? On the one hand, I spent much of my trip sharing fond memories and funny stories with my friends/colleagues who traveled with me last year. On the other hand, I found myself pissing and moaning about the lack of acknowledgment from my Korean counterparts.

Maybe I'm being a little unfair. After all, what makes me so damn important?

Nothing. This is just an example of the expectations I set for myself and others before, during, and after my time in Korea. I wanted to be welcomed. I wanted to be embraced. I wanted to feel a part of something I've been removed from my entire life. I felt that ten times over in some ways, and not at all in others, but that's OK. It was an experience of a lifetime, and it continues to give me strength in my identity. What could be more important than being proud of who you are? Despite the imperfections of my origin, and the modern day Korean identity crisis (see earlier posts), I am blessed. I am a survivor. I was chosen.

I did succeed. Expectations and pre-conceived notions aside, I accomplished one major goal..to see Korea for MYSELF. All the blogs, images, orientations, personal testimonials, and Google searches in the world couldn't give me what I now possess. Yet, I'm still in my exploratory infancy. Will I desire more from my records? Will I consider a full-on birth family search? Will my Korean heritage become more salient in my daily life? I do not have any concrete answers to those questions at this time, but let's just say I'm looking forward to having a lifetime to think about it and share it with my friends, family, and loved ones...if they are willing to listen, of course.

"Life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning and laughter is life's sweetest creation."

All that wisdom from a greeting card. I'd say that sums it up.